PRO: No Negotiation Nightmares Allowed

Negotiations are a big part of our job.  Clients might argue that they are one of the most important parts, and cooperating agents appreciate a good round of negotiations as well.  Skilled negotiators get shit done, but it’s a talent that takes some patience and some practice. 

Let go of your ego

It’s not about winning or beating the jerk on the other side.  Let’s face it, we all deal with jerks from time to time, and we’re all the jerk sometimes.  You’ll struggle with cooperating agents, you’ll disagree with associates, you’ll hate working with some lenders, and you’ll learn how to live with a new level of frustration.  If you learn to let go of your ego and move past it, you’ll be a better professional.  It’s not about you, your image, or your clout.  It’s about your client and their needs and the consumer on the other side.  

Listen before problem solving 

It’s easy to get into the habit of offering advice or solutions up front, but you need to learn to listen first.  Then, you need to take that active listening skill and use it on the following steps. 

Understand the opposing viewpoint and have empathy

You need to understand the other side.  You have to be able to grasp their viewpoint and their motivation.  You need to be able to recognize where they are giving ground, where they have dug in their heels, and how your stance affects them.  The only way to really work through an issue is to understand the heart of the problem and rework the proposal so that it creates a solution that doesn’t present a new problem for the other side and maybe even offers some benefit for all. 

Respect the cooperating agent

You need to take it one step further and show them respect by listening to them, responding to their suggestions, acknowledging their concerns, and working with them for an equitable solution.  Take their proposals under serious consideration and build off of them.  Show them that you’re not just trying to win and that you don’t want to gain things for your client by harming theirs.  Remember, if negotiations are tough, they are probably having tough conversations with their client and may be dealing with frustration from all angles.  Resist the urge to point a finger at them if your client becomes frustrated.  Cooperating agents need to cooperate and building mistrust between your client and the cooperating agent does nothing to help that.  

Maintain composure

Yes, even when someone proposes something preposterous.  If anyone loses it, everyone loses a little. 

Know your client’s needs and hold them above all else  

No sale and no commission is worth sacrificing your client’s needs or well being and tossing your professional ethics out the window.  You have to dig deep and have hard conversations with your client so you know their motivation, their needs, their wants, and their ability to perform. 

Know your client’s limits  

You can’t successfully negotiate unless you know your client’s comfortable range and their limits.  Knowing when and where they are willing to give a little and where their hard line lands is imperative. Without that knowledge, you’re posturing, not negotiating, so have the difficult conversations and negotiate with confidence (and kindness).